White Witch Whitelighter
by Terapsina
Summary: Tara is shot by Warren and dies, but sometimes that isn't really the end. Extraordinarily good people have a choice to make after their life ends, she still might come back.


Disclaimer: I don't own rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Charmed, if I did Tara as you see would never have died.

Author's note: This hasn't been Beta'd so if you see any mistakes their all mine and I would appreciate if you pointed out any major ones.

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It came so suddenly. One moment Tara felt like the happiest person on earth after she and Willow were finally together again and the next she saw blood dripping down Willows face. The sting in the area of her chest was the only thing that told her that this blood was hers. The very last thing Tara saw before losing consciousness was the broken expression on her sweet Willow's face.

Tara came back to herself in a white room filled with silvery white substance that reminded her of heavy mist but was completely dry, and the way that it flowed around her made it seem almost alive. All of that should have given her a hint, but it was only when Tara saw a figure dressed in white, golden glow coming from underneath the hood of its cloak, stepping towards her, that she realized what had happened to her.

"I'm dead!" she suddenly felt that standing wasn't the proper position for these kinds of realizations and dropped to her knees, the fact that she didn't feel the impact didn't help her to calm down.

"Yes," the being affirmed and pulled down his hood. Now in front of Tara stood a blond man with the kindest face she had ever seen on anybody except her mother. The man smiled and extended his arm to help Tara back on her feet.

"W-w-will I see my mom now?" when the shock had ebbed away Tara was suddenly losing her nerve and with that her stutter was rearing its annoying head.

"No Tara, first I'm going to have to show you something else." He outstretched his hand again, this time putting his palm in front of her forehead but without touching her skin, in stead he asked "Can I?"

Tara looked deeply in the man's eyes and not seeing any ill intent nodded.

He placed the tips of his fingers on the skin between her eyebrows and she was suddenly pulled in a vision containing countless former lives. She saw herself being born over and over again, saw herself sometimes being the mother, other times sister of Dawn. She recognized her own mother and friends like Buffy, Xander and even Spike being in many different roles within many lifetimes. But most importantly she saw herself meeting Willow again and again, always falling in love. Sometimes they were ripped apart before they were ready and others they lived happily together until it was time to rest in the higher planes, waiting for the moment of rebirth. She experienced the circle of life, and it was beautiful.

Tears of joy were running down Tara's soft features because she finally saw what she had always known, Willow and her were soul mates.

The man allowed Tara a moment to collect her raging emotions that had taken her on a journey he himself remembered once undergoing. Minutes seemed to have passed by before he spoke again.

"You have done a lot of good in your life and had you lived longer there is much you would have achieved. Because of that there is a choice that must be settled. You can move on and take your place in heaven, you will meet you mother there and you will be able to wait for the arrival of all the people still left on the living plane, you can choose peace. Or you can become what you were meant to be and save countless lives by accepting the calling of a Whitelighter, a healer. Only you can decide which of these roads to stand on."

Tara didn't really need to make a decision, she had known the answer to his quarry even before this man started talking. She truly wanted to embrace her mother again and rest from the struggle that always kept being fought, but she also knew that it wouldn't be the right thing to do. So her eyes quickly filled with a determination she had never felt before and answered with a steady tone not once breaking in a stutter.

"I choose to become a Whitelighter!"

Those seemed to be the words this man was waiting for, because he stepped back and suddenly by Tara's left side appeared a doorway that was silently opening and releasing a transparent golden sphere filled by blue orbs dancing within it depths. When she touched this amazing essence it filled her being, changing her in ways she would never be able to explain. The sense of peace it gave out was indescribable, it embraced her mind and heart and she finally knew what heaven felt like, and with that piercing understanding she finally comprehended what had been stolen from Buffy.

After the hold of heaven had softly released Tara, she felt more refreshed than ever before. With this experience came not only the knowledge of what she now was, what powers she had gained and how these new powers were used, but also the name of the Elder standing before her and any other she had yet to meet. Leo Wyatt had only recently taken his place besides the Founders, but he was still one of its wisest members. So Tara knew that for some reason one of her charges must be extremely special.

"What is it Leo?" Tara wasn't yet sure if she addressed the Elder properly but something about the blond man put her at ease - which was strange as she never felt calm around men, one of the side effects of living with her father.

Leo smiled although there was sadness there that only partly was because of his sudden distance from his wife. Mostly it came because he knew that what he was about to show the new Whitelighter would most assuredly break her heart. To distance that unavoidable moment he spoke.

"Usually we allow the Whitelighter's a time to get accustomed to their new status, but in this case your charge will need you right away. She has potential to do great good with the power bestowed upon her, but she has never had guidance and if no one stops her evil will have gained a strong pawn, maybe even a powerful ally."

Fear was gently rippling through Tara's being and its icy claws were taking hold of her heart. When she finally answered her throat ran dry.

"Show me!" Tara had to force herself to keep her eyes open when Leo waved his arm and an illusion filled the room. Everything had darkened and left a feeling of being in a nightmare with a mysterious fog still flowing around them sometimes changing into branches of trees.

Tara was forced to watch as Willow with black hair, veins and inky eyes excruciatingly slowly pushed a bullet in Warren Mears's chest. Willow ripped the skin off him right in front of Tara's eyes and then teleported away towards two other much less guilty geeks. She saw how Willow threatened to unmake Dawn and truly tried to kill Buffy and Giles. Tara saw how very much in pain Willow was after draining the earthly magic from Giles, and in conclusion she watched as Willow teleported away from the 'Magic Box' with every intention of ending the world.

When the scenes were finished Tara and Leo again occupied white space and the only thing left proving that something had happened at all was the wrenching sob's coming out of Tara's very being.

"How c-c-could she just… she just killed him, she knows that I would ne-never condone this!"

Leo knew, that Tara didn't expect an answer from him, but he knew that what he was about to tell her could bring back hope to the crying guardian angel.

"It wasn't entirely her fault Tara. She hasn't used any magic for such a long time that it's corrupted power built up and without any outlet just sat there, waiting for a big enough shock to let itself free. What we watched was pure black magic powered by all the painful emotions of your death braking free. Willow Rosenberg has always lacked control, but now her already impressive power is tripled from the added strength. She is also much more dangerous."

Tears hadn't stopped flowing, but at least her sobs were losing their intensity and volume. When Tara had calmed down enough to think clearly, she realized with horror what Willow was getting ready to do.

"Leo, you have to help me stop her," a deep frown was adoring her face and ragged breaths escaped her lips, she still felt like crying, but it wasn't time for that yet "Willow can't just decide the world is too painful and end it."

Anyone could tell you that Tara Maclay is usually very calm and rational, if someone wanted to see what a clear mind did to a good person - no one needed to look further than her. Ultimately, Spike didn't start calling her Glinda after the color of her hair. But in spite of that at the moment she was nothing more than afraid; afraid for the world, for the friends she gained after coming to Sunnydale and afraid for Willow's soul.

"We will send you to her shortly, but first you have to know some things, we won't be able to send anyone to help you or advise you. The energy the Mouth of Hell emits is too evil for us to be near it, without becoming sick and dying, you should know that it is one of the vital ingredients that are used in making the poison for Whitelighters. The only reason you can go there, is because you were born over the Hellmouth in Cleveland and until now lived over the one under Sunnydale, but even for you it will slowly poison your being if you don't regularly leave. Your orbing power won't work and even the attempt will send out a beacon for Darklighters. Also although you will be able to heal, those born over the mouth of Hell and Slayers will fight the healing touch just like demons do. So you will be able to heal them, but not all the way and it will take more power."

Leo continued to give Tara some more essential advises before using his own power to send her to confront her currently slightly insane soulmate.

She reappeared above ground and the last few feet fell, suddenly Tara was thankful she couldn't be killed by it anymore. Wincing as she stood up she noted that she _could_ still be hurt. The ride was rougher than expected, either Leo's aim was off or Hellmouths energy was growing stronger and interfering with Whitelighter energy to a higher degree than predicted.

Tara could sense her at the moment only charge to her left and ran towards Willow as if her life depended on it, in a way it did. If she didn't reach her in time, but by some miracle world continued spinning she probably wouldn't care if some Darklighter found her. She kept running for ten more minutes before she saw Willow in all her dark glory throwing wild uncontrolled magic towards Xander's chest. "Willow, stop!"

Tara's desperate plea was like a lightning strike in the eye of a hurricane, because everything stopped. Even Xander seemed speechless, and if the situation wasn't so very serious she might have made a quiet joke about it.

"Baby?" Willow's voice suddenly sounded as if belonging to a frightened and lonely child "You're not dead?"

For once Tara completely ignored the woman's question in stead she finally allowed her anger freedom.

"Do you think I want you to do this? Willow, you can't control the universe or suddenly when you're hurting, like a child throw a temper tantrum and decide the rest of the world should too. We all hurt Will, the world is painful, and hard and completely not fair, but it's still beautiful and you can't destroy it." Tara's eyes were hard and for the moment she didn't let herself feel sympathy, Willow needed to hear this, or she would never learn. "I want you to stop, I want my Willow back – the Willow who would never hurt her best friend Xander, never threaten Dawnie, never try to kill Mr. Giles. Sweetie, the only thing you can control is yourself and you're not doing that, you're giving the magic within you complete control over your mind."

Tara could see the fight taking place in the powerful witch in front of her, the eyes that had been flickering in color since she laid them on her were joined by her hair that seemed unwilling to turn to the pretty shade of red Tara adored, so she said maybe the only thing that might help.

"I love you, and if you love me you'll stop." Tara's voice cracked, her throat was hurting from screaming as she wasn't used to raising her tone and it showed.

Willow finally seemed to take back control of her own magic and then dropped on her knees remembering all that she had done in the last two day's in a light not veiled in black magic.

"Oh Goddess," she killed Warren, more she tortured him first. Suddenly she felt very sick and emptied her stomach, before crawling away in shock crying. Xander dropped by her side in exhaustion and pain and placed his arms around her before looking questioningly at Tara.

Tara herself looked undecided for a moment before she slowly stepped closer to Willow and Xander and sat down on the other side of her lover starting to run her palm over the broken woman's hair. Questions would come later, right now Willow needed comfort and although she right now felt far from forgiving the redhead's trip on the dark side, she did still love her and now wasn't the time to punish her for what she had almost done. That, Tara was sure would come on its own.

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Review, please! I really want to know what you think about it. I know I haven't uploaded anything in a while, but I think now when school is almost over for the year and because I have so many ideas running in my brain I think I'm back and not leaving for a while.


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